Why?

When something's realized to be want,
It suddenly does cease to be a need;
And knowledge does relentlessly haunt,
Sapping power out of the dear creed.

And so we do not ask, almost never do,
That most dreaded question, the why,
Until the self does vociferously argue,
That the life we are living is but a lie.

Recently, rains washed away a tryst,
And my gloom threatened to defy,
All sanguine chants in the sacred list,
Leaving me yearning to learn why.

To poise myself, why did I've to try?
Hopes of sunshine, why did I retain?
On her, for what had I come to rely,
That the dismay was hard to contain?

With her words, she did easily evoke,
Feelings in her most joyous cadence;
Perhaps, I missed the I she did invoke,
A peep into the pristine in her presence.

Wait, can it be love if it is about me?
Or am I indulging my selfishness?
If the I I missed is the best I can be,
Would that be sufficiently selfless?