The Deadliest Cocktail...

When joy fills my heart,
I'm boundlessly ecstatic;
My world, falling apart,
It's bottomless is my panic.

Often I am, I am fazed,
It grips me does deja vu,
Equally, I am amazed,
The routine seems all new.

I wish to race the wind,
Now, that can't be hope!
I walk, well underpinned,
As on a plucked tightrope.

I pen down my dreams,
They seem psychedelic;
Is anything what it seems?
Or am I a schizophrenic?

An epiphany does elude,
Tortuous my thought trail,
Within me, I do conclude,
Flows the deadliest cocktail.