One of the most eventful academic years in my life,till date,has come to an end.Frankly,I've had to endure,accept and learn much more,than I've in the 2 decades of my dwelling on this planet!From the blossoming friendships,doling out advice to the bouts of loneliness,insecurity,fear,depression-its been,without a shadow of a doubt,an explosive combo of joy,sorrow and everything in between.
A year which started on a rather dull note,owing to a freak mishap which eventually made me realize the respect,admiration and affection towards one of my friends,who till then,in the spark-less mind,had been an object of envy and hate.I,for the first time as per my retention,ended up praying for a guy who did not belong to my immediate family and it surely made me feel good to see him back doing the things he cherished within a pretty short period of time.The rest of my third semester was free of reasons to clamor about and everything seemed hunky dory.
Yes,I did crash my bike at the end of the exams and was laid up at home through the vacation,but it hardly bothered me to be actually away from the world,a world which I had never embraced as my own.
Then,of course,with the advent of the summer,the fourth semester was in progress and the first few days passed by like a breeze.I did get back to my old flame-quizzing-during the course and it surely gave me the boost in pride,I seemed to be craving for.I was attending to my academics in more than a satisfactory manner;it seemed as though life could never have been any better!I even ended up being a self-styled preacher doling out all the free advice necessary to clog the brains of those around me.Unknown to me,though,was a cerebral maze which I'd wandered into in all the enthusiasm and arrogance;a realm I'd never attended to ever before out of pure fear of being engulfed in the flames.
Ignoring my hyper-sensitivity,I tried to dwell deep into my emotional sphere,taking a risk which had perhaps been long overdue.Blinded,by the apparent strangle hold I had on my life,I took a path which terminated in a funeral pyre awaiting my parasitic way of life.In a short span of twenty days,I was left introspecting,trying to figure out who was worthy of my trust and where my priorities lay.I've spent days in the hospital as a kid owing to bronchial attacks which would leave me gasping for breath,but never have I experienced the sort of pain,whose apparent cause lay in a wound invisible to the outer world.Mind swinging between rage-sorrow-hatred,and what not,it was something beyond the worst of my nightmares.I did manage to somehow drag myself into the examination hall;shaken,stirred but with a desire not to let myself down-kept in tact by medication.The worst was to come in the post-exam vacations when I had lots of uninterrupted time to wander within my brain.I eventually ended up picking out a book on possibility thinking by Rev.Schuller,which provided the temporal soothing in all the bleeding.One of my first acts at the end of my reading was to start a blog to pore out my emotions and conflicts-for the simple reason that it would give me the comfort of having shared it all with the world,without actually doing the same.
Aided by a few friends,none of whom have been part of any verbal conversation for years-two out of the five I'd not seen in years,I somehow managed to cling on.To kill the storm I took refuge in spirituality-The Art of Living-by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,a foundation I'd always verbally slayed!Slowly,I've been getting back to my senses reading more of Sri Sri's lectures which without having to perform the miracles,have given me the direction to turn to in a journey-lost.Yes,I got my results today,and though the percentage is far from what usually adorns my result sheet,I'm happy for the growth spurt that has been kindled within me amidst all the chaos and am sure that faith is my sole wealth in a world waiting with open arms to embrace me and to be embraced.I thank all my friends who stood by me,against me or just staring at me,for each one of them has contributed significantly to keep me alive!Love you folks;God bless you!
A year which started on a rather dull note,owing to a freak mishap which eventually made me realize the respect,admiration and affection towards one of my friends,who till then,in the spark-less mind,had been an object of envy and hate.I,for the first time as per my retention,ended up praying for a guy who did not belong to my immediate family and it surely made me feel good to see him back doing the things he cherished within a pretty short period of time.The rest of my third semester was free of reasons to clamor about and everything seemed hunky dory.
Yes,I did crash my bike at the end of the exams and was laid up at home through the vacation,but it hardly bothered me to be actually away from the world,a world which I had never embraced as my own.
Then,of course,with the advent of the summer,the fourth semester was in progress and the first few days passed by like a breeze.I did get back to my old flame-quizzing-during the course and it surely gave me the boost in pride,I seemed to be craving for.I was attending to my academics in more than a satisfactory manner;it seemed as though life could never have been any better!I even ended up being a self-styled preacher doling out all the free advice necessary to clog the brains of those around me.Unknown to me,though,was a cerebral maze which I'd wandered into in all the enthusiasm and arrogance;a realm I'd never attended to ever before out of pure fear of being engulfed in the flames.
Ignoring my hyper-sensitivity,I tried to dwell deep into my emotional sphere,taking a risk which had perhaps been long overdue.Blinded,by the apparent strangle hold I had on my life,I took a path which terminated in a funeral pyre awaiting my parasitic way of life.In a short span of twenty days,I was left introspecting,trying to figure out who was worthy of my trust and where my priorities lay.I've spent days in the hospital as a kid owing to bronchial attacks which would leave me gasping for breath,but never have I experienced the sort of pain,whose apparent cause lay in a wound invisible to the outer world.Mind swinging between rage-sorrow-hatred,and what not,it was something beyond the worst of my nightmares.I did manage to somehow drag myself into the examination hall;shaken,stirred but with a desire not to let myself down-kept in tact by medication.The worst was to come in the post-exam vacations when I had lots of uninterrupted time to wander within my brain.I eventually ended up picking out a book on possibility thinking by Rev.Schuller,which provided the temporal soothing in all the bleeding.One of my first acts at the end of my reading was to start a blog to pore out my emotions and conflicts-for the simple reason that it would give me the comfort of having shared it all with the world,without actually doing the same.
Aided by a few friends,none of whom have been part of any verbal conversation for years-two out of the five I'd not seen in years,I somehow managed to cling on.To kill the storm I took refuge in spirituality-The Art of Living-by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,a foundation I'd always verbally slayed!Slowly,I've been getting back to my senses reading more of Sri Sri's lectures which without having to perform the miracles,have given me the direction to turn to in a journey-lost.Yes,I got my results today,and though the percentage is far from what usually adorns my result sheet,I'm happy for the growth spurt that has been kindled within me amidst all the chaos and am sure that faith is my sole wealth in a world waiting with open arms to embrace me and to be embraced.I thank all my friends who stood by me,against me or just staring at me,for each one of them has contributed significantly to keep me alive!Love you folks;God bless you!
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